Women get married but not always for the right reasons. That's why the possibility of growing old alone - separated, annulled, divorced, widowed - has become an option too. What more for women that never got married in the first place? Women get into a relationship but don't get married right off the bat. You only have yourself to blame anyway if you ended up marrying the wrong guy and getting stuck in a loveless marriage just for the sake of "duties". You always have the option; you just don't stick to it long enough perhaps.
A topic that can't be helped but be discussed in Asian culture is marriage. In my review of Marco Polo The Musical, I liked the way how the concept of getting married is discussed and that includes politics. But what if you're a woman and you're relatively accomplished in a way that is at par with men (if not better)? Princess Kogajin (played by Stephanie Reese in the musical) is welcome to the idea until she met Marco Polo. Marco Polo The Musical is itself based on a "what if" conundrum regarding how close he got to Princess Kogajin. This brings us to another "what if" - What if Kogajin insisted on staying single? Would subjects of the empire dare classify her among the "leftover women"? I am reminded of the constant questions thrown in my way every time the folks that I get to talk to learn that I am 30 years old and still single. I do understand the "Kawawa ka naman" looks they give me every time it becomes a conversation starter. In Asia where 30 is might as well be the new 50 when it comes to marrying age, The older you get, the lower the chances of getting married get. You end up getting classified among the "leftover women". Believe it or not, the option of NOT getting married exists but mostly for free people like us not imposed with the pressures of politics and filial duties if they also exist in your family. But in the case of imperial children like Toragana (played by Nicky Trevino) and Kogajin, either they embrace their fate or just go full metal rebel and fight for the right to choose whomever you wanted to marry (or choose NOT to marry either). That's also when almost everything dawned on me - when you say gender equality, it may also mean giving women the option to say "no" to marriage. At this point, some of you may be calling me a "matandang dalaga" now (yeah, at 30, bring it on). It may be because no man is good enough (not always true because you have a lot of men that you can date, just don't expect nice turnover ratio). It may be because the joys of dating have been exhausted so far and you still end up dating dickheads. And in the case of Kogajin, majority of the men in her area are scumbags that are more concerned about banging every princess available and collecting concubines. But does that mean we should start generalizing the single women into bitter bitches with too much content between their ears and no lovelife to speak of? No. Neither is it acceptable to brand women as too broken-hearted and jaded in love to even think of getting married again. I know of some women that got jaded with the concept of falling in love but got married anyway just for the sake of bearing children. At least they have companions to carry them to old age. Women get married but not always for the right reasons. That's why the possibility of growing old alone - separated, annulled, divorced, widowed - has become an option too. What more for women that never got married in the first place? Women get into a relationship but don't get married right off the bat. You only have yourself to blame anyway if you ended up marrying the wrong guy and getting stuck in a loveless marriage just for the sake of "duties". You always have the option; you just don't stick to it long enough perhaps. Unlike Kogajin, I have the choice to stay single or get married. I'm not a royal. The last time I checked there aren't any many native royals in the Philippines anymore. I am not a politician's daughter although I am constantly reminded to dress a certain way "befitting my stature in society" (whatever that means). I still get obscure looks from friends and acquaintances regarding my status as a single person for my age. I would be lying if I say it hasn't gotten into me to a certain extent but well, what's a provinciana got to do but shrug it off, right? Marriage has become a calculated risk in itself, sorry for sounding jaded. If you marry for love, good for you. Maintaining the love for the next decade would be a major challenge to hurdle though. "I love you" uttered today will not always mean "I love you" tomorrow or 4-5 years from now. But if you stay single for an age older than mine and it's your choice (and you're happy) who am I to judge you? Love is not always a good reason to get married. So is fear of growing old alone and lonely. Don't forget to visit the official website of Marco Polo The Musical. Thanks for reading.
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Jing DalaganI've been blogging for as long as I could remember. But I made it a career as of late as a home-based writer. It is something I find comfort in doing. Archives
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